Yin Fa

We speak of 'fireworks' in relationships, and often seek exhilarating situations, especially when young. How convenient that such behaviour favours youth, which is protected by naivete.
Later, the need for speed, Passion, changes form, subtly, invisibly, and the fireworks are no longer tremulous; if they are nimble, they seem to metamorphose before the eyes, like flower buds in spring. Basic lessons have been learned, and it becomes a question of putting into practice that which the empiricism that is also called wisdom.
With regards to the passions that colour human relations, the great scientist Michael Faraday gives relevant advice to John Tyndall:

...let me, as an old man, who ought by this time to have profited by experience, say that when I was younger I found I often misinterpreted the intentions of people, and found they did not mean what at the time I supposed they meant; and, further, that as a general rule, it was better to be a little dull of apprehension where phrases seemed to imply pique, and quick in perception when, on the contrary, they seemed to imply kindly feeling. The real truth never fails ultimately to appear; and opposing parties, if wrong, are sooner convinced when replied to forbearingly, than when overwhelmed. All I mean to say is, that it is better to be blind to the results of partisanship, and quick to see good will. One has more happiness in oneself in endeavouring to follow the things that make for peace. You can hardly imagine how often I have been heated in private when opposed, as I have thought, unjustly and superciliously, and yet I have striven, and succeeded, I hope, in keeping down replies of the like kind. And I know I have never lost by it. I would not say all this to you did I not esteem you as a true philosopher and friend.

This sentiment is reflected in Emerson's essay on gifts - he would rather not play the Furies.
As Faraday writes, it is best not to act if one is under the influence of emotions. And, as Faraday shows, advice on how to train the passions is to be offered humbly, only if one has travelled down a particular road themselves, and knows it well. Our passions are best tempered in good faith, without expectation; good seeds are to be planted with the knowledge that may, not will, bear fruit.
The perspective one gains over the years is not so much of bright reds versus blues, but all the tempered nuances in between. Every situation will call for a tailor-made response, but through time one will have learned some basic guidelines, like how to stop, look and listen before proceeding.
A local expression states: one mustn't belittle oneself in bad times, nor aggrandise oneself in good times. If one feels inclined to lose sleep over happy events (happy soul!), it may do well to appreciate the goodness with a grain of salt - which, as bakers know, curiously enhances sweetness in a particular way.
From the explosion of fireworks, the subtle emergence of the flower.

Elements: Doily and flowers: pugly pixel ; tapes strip: minitoko .
Yin fa when translated literally from the Cantonese means fire flowers, but denotes fireworks. One of Dear Jane's Cantopop songs is called I love fireworks, not flowers, ngo ngoi yin fa bat ngoi fa gou geui liu ngo dik, 我愛煙花不愛花 高舉了我的--- but flowers, not fireworks, can be planted and given as lasting gifts.

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