Much Love Monday

No matter how much one exercises being as nice to oneself as one would be to a child-in-growth, there can arrive the bleakest of moments, even when they contradict the most beautiful of days with a carefree breeze and an unidentified bird soaring between buildings, which may be a miniature hawk, or some kind of falcon.
And when those grim moments close in, one knows one must GO OUTSIDE, to watch a woman walk her prancing dog, and realise that one is part of a bigger picture.
Such an overcast moment happened to me yesterday. Experience has taught me that when I feel most tempestuous, I have but to wait for a "saving" ray of light - be it through a phone call, a visit: all one has to do is to keep one's eyes open. That is why I often think of the symbolic sun with sun-ray hands, like in those Egyptian depictions.
Yesterday, I went wanting to a lunch hoping to listen to people, to be brought outside of myself, and while that did happen, I was also asked a lot of questions, and I heard myself answering with such optimistic statements that I surprised myself. When prodded to say negative things about others, I decided to stop engaging with the subject on that level, so I asked, isn't it true that everyone has their own special gift? For instance, non-professionalism can leave room for relaxing conversation. And if someone is choosing to be antagonistic, isn't that their own problem? If they want to construct ugly pictures of other people based on twisted words, they are the ones who have to live in that ugly collage.
But my friend became worried about the mistakes we make in life - those times when we get it all wrong, for instance, if we believe in the ugly gossip. So I asked:
- How do we know we've made a mistake?
- We regret it, and don't want to make the same mistake again, we don't want to be defined by it.
- So, what kind of person would hold us to our mistakes? Isn't such a person showing that they have a problem with themselves? It is ultimately our choice whether we continue to identify ourselves with our mistakes, or move on.
Where I live, if one doesn't figure such things out, life can be rather punishing. But there is no need to fear other people if one generally wants to set them free.
And as for the other topic of the heavy rain clouds of self-doubt... one is not the centre of the world. If a grey period looms, one has but to look for the silver lining to see that one has been sitting, all along, in a large valley where there is sunlight, rain, clouds, and blue sky - the variety of conditions needed to grow flowers. The beauty of rain and its cleansing, therapeutic effect can be seen in Satyajit Ray's Apu Trilogy when a girl cries, and instead of her voice, we hear the tamboura, and it starts to rain, tears and rain, blending as one. I couldn't find that scene, but this one is just as beautiful.
So for today's Much Love Monday, I love spring showers: they help blossom whatever seeds one has planted.

Elements: Animus.

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