The type of conversation I have trouble with is when someone doesn't want to observe the rules of fair play or etiquette for whatever reason, so they attack their interlocutor. In this way, they deflect attention from themselves, and the interlocutor, who was being polite and respectful, is suddenly in the strange position of having to be defensive.
Well, you know how these things can pile up in winter. Such has been my week. But I do not want to be overcome. So, I have been reviewing my basic lessons: 1. Remembering who I am (I generally try to help and be nice to people). 2. Oh yes, let me extend point 1: I am also an honest person most of the time, so I don't lie by saying things like: all students come to my class all the time (when the subject of my colleagues' claims happened to come up with my students, how they laughed). 3. What my Godmother says: it's only the good horse that stirs up dust behind it - because that is a sign it is moving. 4. Not everyone will understand. 5. Good people are good and generally give others the benefit of the doubt; some people aren't, and they never will be. Never, here, meaning, no expectations.
My problem is that I expect to be friends with everyone, and by "friend" I mean it as defined in previous posts. I think the problem is that I see that I am willing to carve something beautiful out of anyone's ice, because I just like it better that way, surrounded by beauty - and I also love it when people give me the space to shine to the best of my abilities. But, that's just not the way everyone works.
Rather than give up on my Project for Humanity (don't you love self deprecating humour, or is it the result of a colonial upbringing), I'd rather try to inject a dose of laughter. Do you remember that Monty Python scene, where a door-to-door salesman tries to pawn the oddest games, saying, "Breaks the ice at parties!" Well, sometimes, I wish I had a few silly wares - so, in the moment of attack, I would turn it into a joke. But, with all things, I suppose mastering this takes time...
And to wrap this post up, I was most happy to see a quote from the children's book Velveteen Rabbit today:
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
It is a beautiful life, no matter what "they" say!
Elements: mod circle, needlework: minitoko; papers: mellowmint.
