Sweet and sour

Words can be sweet or spiteful, it is hard to deal with the latter. It happened on Sunday, that over my weekly glass of wine with my friend, this very thing was mentioned. "Some words have a malicious edge," my friend said.

These are the words that on the surface seem to have our best interest in mind. But when received, leave feelings of insufficiency, sadness, self-doubt (the kind of self-questioning that stems from doubt). I know these symptoms well, and while I am getting better at avoiding ingesting this kind of poison that other people are wont to dump, it can still happen. The danger of such words is in proximity; if someone weren't close - be it through the workplace, historical ties, familial ones - it would not be such a problem.

Some of us grow as human beings, and as we grow, we may still have around us the people that helped us in our earlier years. I think that any responsible, feeling person will have experience with the kind of person who unknowingly (rarely knowingly) spouts words of malice. We can recognise how much a person has learned in their lives according to whether or not they have experience with this.

I read on a post that immediately became dear to my heart: "I used to be a little bit rebel when I should talk to this type of person, but now I just leave them there and hope that they will go elsewhere to spill all their poison. I'm tired and don't want confrontation anymore."

It is hard, though, if such people are very close to us, because we must learn, what I will call, how to tango with them. When we have the strength, we can stand by these people and try to let them vent in the hopes that they will see our labour of love. But there will be times when we need to let ourselves be. The very hard part of engaging with such people is not being provoked by them, which requires inner peace.

Elements: Minitoko; Mellowmint